Hmmm….when I scan my brain and reflect on the many supervisors that I’ve come in contact with over the past few years, I can’t deny that there are a few that deserve a back alley meeting.
Damn…people have been getting on each others’ nerves since elementary school and when I was younger, meeting in the back of the building or in an empty Bronx lot was the number one way to get your beefs squashed. But how does that work at work? Here’s the problem. At a certain age, you are considered a working professional. That title comes with a Prix Fixe menu that includes: Political Politeness, False Harmony and Silent Sarcasm. When faced with a supervisor whose very presence has the ability to piss you off to the highest level of Pistivity….you’ve entered the Twilight Zone. Whaaaaaaat? How can you feel so hyped up at work? That’s easy for Sistah Girls. What your supervisors and co-workers don’t realize is that we are all one or two paychecks away from being that home girl in the laundromat in the middle of the day with a headscarf on, a Twizzler in one hand and Pepsi in the other. Many of us come from families where we are the “only” one working in a so-called Corporate/Professional environment. It seems like the Sistah Girls working outside of the office (Cable Technicians, Telephone Installation, Cashiers, Bus Drivers, etc.) are expected to be a little rough around the edges. But the SG’s in the office are supposed to Cool It Now –New Edition style all day!
Just for fun, I surfed the internet looking for examples of individuals who completely lost it and slapped the *ish out of their supervisors. I didn’t really find an example of any Sistah Girls losin’ it (Perhaps a gentle nod to the fact that we are the smarter of the two sexes.) However, there was no shortage of incidents reported in cyberspace. My brief query found:
· Jorge Varga of PA who repeatedly punched his Home Depot supervisor after a discussion about his job performance.
· John Miller of NY who beat his MTA Bus supervisor up after being reprimanded for using his cell phone.
· William Wayne Robinson of Tennessee who threatened his boss and attempted to assault him with the butt of a rifle after being fired for breaking company rules.
· Across the pond, Mr. Brown of Berkshire, England grabbed his boss by the face and threw him onto a table after being reprimanded for not following procedure for making bed frames.
· John Gatewood of NC took it all the way there when he assaulted his supervisor over his pay. Apparently, he took money out of his supervisor’s pockets and forced him to make a withdrawal from an ATM. Whew!
So here comes the self-help portion of this blog post. If you have gathered up so much dislike/hatred for your supervisor that you dream about putting the “PAWS” on him/her a la Kevin Hart….take a seat. As a matter of fact, take several seats and find yourself a new gig. Top 3 reasons you can’t smack the *ish outta your boss:
1.It’s a crime
2.You really do need your job
3.It’s like sex with your ex. It feels good in the moment but you wake up the next day feeling like a moron.
If you want to work it out with your supervisor, I suggest you:
1.Read: Working With You Is Killing Me by Katherine Crowley & Kathy Elster. This book can help you figure out what kind of supervisor you are dealing with and how to navigate their nonsense.
2.Listen To: Weightless by Marconi Union. According to scientists, it’s the most relaxing song ever recorded and listeners have experienced lower heart rates, reduced blood pressure and lower levels of stress.
3.Visit: www.iyanlavanzant.com and sign up for her weekly newsletters. She always manages to come up with something that you can identify with.