During this past week, I have run into women that I haven’t seen in a while and they are doing great and amazing things in their lives but they wrap every conversation with a request for me to “keep it on the low.” I have to say that listening to the way they are preparing for nursing school exams, prepping for the last stage of a doctorate degree and even starting the side hustle they’ve always dreamed about, has got me extremely excited for them. So what’s the deal with not wanting anyone to know? Not wanting to brag? How come these women insist on bowing their heads and whispering these wonderful details into my ears?
Thanks to a couple of brilliant professors in Montana for their research on women and self-promotion which resulted in: “Women’s Bragging Rights: Overcoming Modesty Norms to Facilitate Women’s Self-Promotion. Apparently, when given the opportunity to promote ourselves or others, we often choose others. Their research revealed that women downplay their accomplishments but have no problem giving props to their friends. The researchers assert that “American women are reluctant to talk about their own accomplishments because cultural norms promote modesty. And, society disapproves of women who are perceived to be bragging about themselves.” If this is true, then it’s no wonder that we struggle with asking for a raise or asking for a promotion or even asking for credit for our work. In another research study called, The Next Generation of Working Women, the team found that this behavior could mean anywhere from $1 million to $1.5 million dollars in lost earnings over a woman’s lifetime.
So today’s the day! Celebrate your successes and do so proudly and loudly. It’s not about being arrogant, it’s about being recognized, loved and supported.
LA Drye is a workstyle specialist with a passion for all things related to Sistah Girls in the workplace. Subscribe to receive new posts directly in your mailbox. When not ranting and raving here, she can be found on Twitter @ladrye or on FaceBook at www.facebook.com/washndrye. Visit www.sayido.nyc to learn more about Say “I Do” In A New York Minute: A Guide to Planning Your Big Apple Wedding.