Dear Sister-Friend: Please Don’t Ask Me For A Job Reference 11.12.14



One of the best things about the office is meeting some really cool women who share similar interests. Those women often become some of your best girlfriends and the friendships often last longer than the job. (For more on that, see my post: 3 Reasons Why You Need a Sister-Friend at Work.)  But what happens when your sister-friend who used to work with you and was not the best employee, calls you and asks for a job reference?

Here’s my dilemma… Although you were fun to work with and even more fun after work, you really weren’t that great of an employee.  Having said that, I’m just gonna go all out and say, “Dear Sister-Friend, please don’t ask me for a job reference.”

It’s hard to say but true. Please don’t ask me for a reference if when we used to work together:

1. You were always late and absent.

2. You never completed your assignments on time and your work product was sub-par.

3. You spent most of the time at the old job looking for a new job.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t have love for you and it doesn’t mean that our friendship isn’t authentic. It just means that I’m not willing to put my name on the line. I would hate for a colleague to get burned because you got the nod for the job based on my reputation and then you took the same old behaviors with you to the new position.  I can’t be scared that you won’t like me. If you were honest with yourself, you would acknowledge that I’m just being honest.

To be fair, here’s what I would be able to say:

1. Yes, we did work together.

2. You are great with people.

3. You have one heck of a personality.

Hope that helps.

Stay Fly, Stay Fabulous and Rock On!

LA Drye is a workstyle specialist with a passion for all things related to Sistah Girls in the workplace. When not ranting and raving here, she can be found on Twitter @ladrye or on FaceBook at


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